Friendship Skills
What does it mean to be a friend? When we are little, our teachers and families help us learn how to be a
friend. Usually from there we are on our own. Most of us do pretty well.
Sometimes we have more friends, sometimes we have fewer. The
thing to remember when it seems like you don’t have many friends is that life is always full of
surprises. And when you feel like you have the friends you need,
you are very lucky.
Most of the time we don’t go looking for
friends. They just happen. Usually your friendships are fine, but sometimes you can have problems with
friends. When you have problems with friends, it’s good to think
over what being a friend really means.
People want friends who:
-
Make them feel relaxed and comfortable;
-
Make them feel at ease sharing their problems and concerns;
-
Can be trusted
-
Are on time
-
Pay attention to how they are feeling
-
Are on their side
-
Accept them for who they are
-
Respect people’s differences
-
Communicate well, in whatever way you use to communicate
Some friends you can have for a little while, while other friends are the kind that you
keep for a long time. It’s ok if you’re friends with different
people at different times.
One important aspect of friendship is that you have to be able to give and
take. Treat others as you would like them to treat
you. If your friend invites you to dinner, try inviting them to
your house to watch a movie a few days later. If your friends
e-mail or call you, write or call them back. If they remember
your birthday and buy you a present, remember theirs and buy them a present too. A lot of times friends have fights because someone forgets the important
rule of treating others as you would like them to treat you.
Where can you look for friends? One important thing you can do is make the effort to meet as many different
kinds of people as possible. If someone you know invites you to a
party or event or even to the grocery store, take a chance and go with them. Maybe you will meet someone new.
A lot of people feel that they are better at
being friends one on one rather than in a group. If you find
yourself hanging out with a group, there are some things you can do to make things easier and more
fun. Remember that when someone says something and makes eye
contact with you, you should say something back. Try to follow
what is being said so you can be on topic. Watch for when someone
is trying to interrupt you and graciously let them talk. Be aware
if you are talking too much (you might actually want to count the number of times you talk versus the number
of times other people talk). Groups can be a lot of fun with
practice. If you feel the group isn’t very fun, try another group
or start a conversation with just one person.
Always be aware that you are the best kind of
friend when you are allowed to just be yourself. Don’t let false
friends pressure you to be someone you are not. You are wonderful
and unique just as you are, and you will find great friends in all the things you do and places you visit in
your life.
Life is a lot richer with a few good friends, but
good friendships take work. Take care of your friends and they
will take care of you.
***
Copyright © 2007
Access Living Youth Center
All Rights Reserved
|
